Less than the sum of it's parts.

I used to work in the same building as P a long time ago. I remember her because she was tall, blonde, hot, successful.....as well as showing no interest in me whatsoever.

She constantly ignored me as we queued for coffee. Constantly ignored me in the gym. Ignored me when we'd pass each other in the reception. This was irksome for me, and not because I hold myself up as noteworthy and in need of constant recognition by all those underlings who pass before me (I am, but everyone else is slow on the pick up of this). We worked in the same role in different parts of the same company. We had friends in common so I'd have expected something. But nope, she stuck resolutely to her plan of not noticing my friendly smile if I saw her about.

But a few years after I'd left that place I saw her in a restaurant where I was having a meeting, she was with some guys I knew so I went over and said hi. After this I was told she was asking after me, then a mutual friend said she thought I was hot. Which given my earlier experience of her came as a surprise.

About a year or so ago we exchanged a few messages on facebook, suggested a few dates for drinks but nothing came of it, something else always came up. But before Xmas just gone she wanted me to meet her and her boss to discuss a work related thing she thought I could help with. Whilst it was vaguely worthwhile, it was clearly just an excuse to meet up. We had a few drinks and talked business, her boss left, then a few more drinks, and we got on kinda well. I left to go meet up with some friends and got texts from her straight away saying it was lovely to meet and if I'd like to she'd love to meet up when I was back from S America. There were no games being played here.

Now here was a girl who was really pretty, tall, blonde, middle class and not short of attention. If I was to guess at her past, and yes I know this is awfully judgemental - but hey I'm not here to present a PC utopian view of my thoughts, it's the unedited workings of a mans brain the stuff we all think but don't say - I'd say she was a sports captain in some way (she's a runner), possible head girl but definite prefect material, would have gone out with a guy from the Uni 1st XV rugby team and in general had a pretty easy, non-challenging life. Because unfortunately: she was dull.

All too often I find that looks can spoil a girl - I guess they spend their whole lives getting what they want, being effortlessly popular, have guys laughing and smiling at whatever they say and girls defer to them for all of these reasons. In the same way you'll find that fat dudes are funny, these girls never really needed to develop a strong personality as such, so they didn't. In a similar way a lot of really hot girls are insecure messes. They're all too aware that they're hot, that they get treated in a certain way just because they're hot so it plays on their minds. Do they really like me or is it just because my cheekbones are really high, my eyes a perfect shade of azure jade, and my ass that makes men crash their cars in the summer. Now I'm of course generalising and exaggerating to some extent, but this is just based on my experience.

However, yes she may be a little bland, but she's also 6ft, blonde shoulder length hair, brown eyes, a mouth that's more of a pleasure to kiss than you'd think just from looking at it and she's in really good shape. Long legs, really tight ass that as a long distance runner you'd probably expect. So I'm not about to pass up finding out what I've wondered since I worked in that building...

We met for drinks the other week, got stuck into cocktails and general chit chat. We got drunk and carried on with chit chat. Then she suggested we get some coke, so I did. And we continued with the chit chat only with a higher volume of words thrown back and forth. And that was the problem, we didn't really get past chit chat. I'm not saying that I'm an intellectual colossus here, but I do like to think a little more than just basics and I like to be able to talk to a girl on a deeper level too. Plus she'd say that she thought I was maybe too cool for her. No, what she actually said was "I think maybe you're too cool for school!"

Too cool for school. What, am I dating my great aunt here?? Shuuushh....

For me at least, it was clear that whilst she was 'nice' (and she is totally nice, a cute lovely girl), it's also clear that we don't have much in common, from our cultural reference points - she likes euro-poppy techno and Kings of Leon, and I...well, I don't - through to our cultural values, whereas I like a grimy bar a run down area, she...well she thinks they're 'grimy' and 'run down' in a bad way.

However we'd not be the first people to kiss who weren't deeply compatible. And we won't be the last. We drunkenly left the bar, headed back for mine. Where we kissed a lot, she took all her clothes off except for her knickers which weren't going anywhere. This was a 'not messing about on the first night' kinda girl. Which is fair enough. But a little contrived when she was so obviously keen (I'm sorry, but the messages and attitude over the weeks had made us having sex at some point, a forgone conclusion), and when she's sending me flirty messages after, even asking me to come over a play. But still, each to their own so fair enough.

So on Thursday we had another date. This time in her neck of the woods "We can go for drinks and then head back to mine to play"- I was agreeable to the notion. We went to a bar which was typical South West London. The guys running it were well spoken, nice guys, but far too young to have set up the bar with anything other than family money, the 'cocktails' were spoofs or knock off imitations of the real thing, but the place wasn't too bad. It had a fair amount of taxidermy which seems to be everywhere nowadays, some decent tunes, and a guitarist playing sporadically throughout the night which was surprisingly alright. So we're getting on ok, are a few drinks in and she asks what I want to do later.

I say I'm not sure, what are the options, what does she want to do?

"I think I'd maybe like to take some drugs and then have a lot of sex?"

Now I have to say that this is not the sort of thing I would have expected from her. Yes we've had a few flirty texts, but she's really way too 'nice' for that sort of talk so this caught me off guard. In a good way. Turns out she'd got a gram of coke back at hers in preparation, lots of booze and the rest of it. Took me about a minute to pay for our tab and we were off on the bus back to hers.

I'm not sure if it's my ex still K affecting me (no doubt a little) or whether it's because I've begun to sate the hungry sexual beast inside me with a lot of wild and different sex, but I'm not quite so excited by it at the moment. The imminent prospect of sex used to give me a buzz, get me excited more than it seems to at the moment. Actually, maybe that's no entirely true - but it certainly was in this case with P. Ordinarily my mind would be all:

"Wooo-hooo!!! In about 20 minutes we're going to be naked and she is hot! I can't wait to see what her pussy tastes like. I wonder if she's going to be dirty? God I can't wait to fuck her, I wonder if she swallows" etc etc.

You see with P, it wasn't just the fact that there was no challenge to it at all. That's usually hot. If me and a girl have got on a wavelength where we're talking about the fact we're totally into fucking each other, then things move up a gear. It was that there was that spark missing between us. I've got to say it's the first time this has happened for me, a really hot girl who isn't getting me excited by the prospect of sex with her. Whilst P was nice, that's all she was, lukewarm.

We got back to hers, and it was fucking freezing. She'd forgotten to turn the heating on and last week London was bitterly cold. So the heater goes on, we open a bottle of red and sit at the dining table. She gets the coke out and I deal with it, crushing up the larger chunks with a credit card before grinding the rest out under a £20 note and chopping out two chubby lines for us. As the gak kicks in, the chat speeds up and the wine gets drained.

And you know what, I'm not even going to go into the specifics here because there's really nothing all that engaging to tell. The room just wouldn't warm up, so whilst we were soon on the sofa kissing, hands wondering - as the clothes came off it wasn't all that hot because it was so damn cold. We were there playing with each other under this pink fleece blanket and whilst she was actually more dextrous than I might have expected it wasn't all it could be had the heating been on (I'm talking about the experience here, not the size of my manhood thankfully. He rose to the occasion admirably). We fucked, for all of five minutes before returning to foreplay and kissing, as I just wasn't into it. The lack of any heat on all fronts had killed it.

We drank more, took down more lines and talked. One thing she asked actually made me think though.

"In a situation like this do you think coke brings you together or kind of isolates you?"

On any date where I've got on and we've been gakked up, yes of course we talk a lot and get on, and most of the time we go on to fuck all night, doing drunken coked up acts you'd not normally straight away. However sometimes it does rob you of your sex drive, or more to the point whilst you're getting on with someone it pushes some distance, a disconnect of some sort in there. It happened this night, and I realise now it happened with K a lot too.

K used to have a bit of an issue with drugs, nothing too serious, but enough for her to feel like she needed to drop a group of friends to get away from the cycle of parties and constant hedonism. She was a hipster if you will, a girl with a lot of money, exploring art, hanging around with scensters and had a predilection for getting high. I see now in hindsight that we brought out the worst in each other, and we'd do too much coke, the thin lines building to a gulf between us.

I'm going to end this post here, it's not been a very interesting one I know - mainly down to a non-interesting date, I'll dedicate an exploration of drugs and what not separately.

Tomorrow night I have a date with a girl I'm going to call 'Photo Booth'. She's pretty but we've barely talked so I really have no idea if we have much to talk about beyond basic attraction. I'll of course let you know.

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